Sorry for the delay...but this is what has happened..

Hello everyone, I know I've been getting calls, emails and texts as the excitement of the big day had arrived and a lot has happened in between.

1. Retrieval - Sunday 20th - showed up early in the morning. Quite nervous as one would expect. The retrieval went WELL..probably too well, as they retrieved 33 eggs from my ovaries. THe normal on the high side is about 20. Everyone was very excited, as once again, I was "an interesting" case to have gotten so many. We went home, with a little anthesia in me,..I felt great, but started throwing up violently during the Pats game (probably because I knew where it was headed). The next day was a different story. I was in major pain. My stomach blew up to about 4 times its normal size and my female parts were in agony. We called my nurse and she said to not worry that it's not OVARIAN HYPERSTIMULATION SYNDROME OHSS just yet, that it's swollen because of the amount of eggs they got. I was instructed to drink as much gatorade as I could and eat protein. Still no relief. I found myself on the couch for the next few days in tremendous pain. and uncomfortable even in my skin. There was nothing making me happy or comforted. Even though my nurse said I didn't have it..I knew what I had felt different than swelling from a surgery.

2, Acupuncture - Tuesday-w/ Dr Chao. I could barely fit into any of my clothes. So I actually went out into the public with half zipped pants. It was embarassing but my pain superceeded that. I was immediately brought into Dr. Chao's office, which brought the first smile to my face in a while, as her office smelled like wacky tabacky. Obviously we were not in the hospital anymore, and definitely in the realm of "alternative medicine". The doc said I had to be, "MOderately Hyperstimulated" at this point. (OHSS causes severe abdominal adema (lots of liquid under skin), major uncomfortableness, anxiety because of all of it, pain, weight gain, loss of breath, and major nausea). Yes, I had all the above. She did her voodoo on my stomach, which when I got home, I could not know if it helped or hurt my causes, as I started throwing up and had major rhea. Maybe she shuld have just given me a toke or two off her wacky tabacky and called it good.

3 Transfer - Wed. am, my transfer got pushed up to first thing in the morning. We got a call that 20 of the 33 eggs fertizlied which is still amazing and of course you can insert Brian's jokes here (''well now we have enough kids for two hockey teams"..etc.) That morning I felt nausea still, still had rhea and could not for the life of me get comfortable. I had a fever which is very bad when doing the transfer or first pregnant (as any alterations in body temp can be detrimental to the fetus/embryo). They gave me tylenol to help. At this pt. I was crying. I didn't know if I wanted to go through it because how horrible I felt, (I also didn't sleep the entire eve. before), and at the pt I was feeling most doctors will not perform a transfer on someone with all my symptoms that day.

The doctor, not mine, was very late and didn't have the best bed side manner, insisted finally and admitted, that I had between MODERATE and SEVERE OVARIAN HYPERSTIMULATION. As he proceeded to tell me...I'll still do the transfer but you are going to get way worse. In those exact comforting words. On top of that, he insisted he would only put one embryo in us instead of two. He said with my age, etcetc, twins would be too likely and I'd be too high risk at this pt already overreacting to the drugs. I cried, Brian and I gave in to one. I was comforted by a nice OR nurse named CAROL, we thought that was a good sign, and went in f0r the transfer. They give you nothingl..no drugs at all..and you lie on a table with your legs/knees pushed back to your chest. It's very awful..but Brian was allowed to scrub up (looking very handsome in his scrubs) and come in and hold my hand. During this process Carol comforted me and so did Brian. We had a "Fellow" a doc doing their fellowship, named Mary actually doing the transfer and we had gotten to know her well. At the end of the 20min they give you your "first picture" of your intended embryo/baby. It was neat..we all cried. and we were released home.

Before going home, we stopped off one more time for some good JUJU /or some free pot smells from the Dr. Chao for acupuncture, as they say, having the acupuncture session, immediately following your transfer on that same day, improves your success rate by 60%. We hope that's the case...as I sat miserable in her doctors office awaiting my appt. Many other patients including nuns came up to Brian and Cyndi and prayed for me as thye could see I was absolutley doing awfully. I was sent home to eat sweet potatoes and pineapple - two magical foods the acupuncturist believes will help.

That night went home. I started dry heaving and puking around 10pm that night. This is not supposed to happen. I was full of anxiety, and didn't want to wake up John, Cyndi or Brian, so I spent the entire night on the downstairs couch, trying not to think of the pain, the nausea that was every 30min, rhea every 45min. and keeping myself calm and laying down since it was after the transfer and those are the rules. I watched about 4movies until 6am when John and Cyndi found me on the couch. I was miserable, crying, dehydrated, sick, in pain, stomach disstended farther than I've ever seen it.

John made the call to bring me in to his hospital (where I got all my tests done up to this pt) for an IV of liquids and hopefully get me on the right track. It was my absolute bottom as they wheelchaired me through the hospital to get me to the recovery rooms of the OR (John secretly stashed us there instead of the ER, here it would have taken too long). Every doc and nurse said I looked worse than awful. John immediately found my doctor Dr Ashby,uostairs who just did a surgery. She sent down an ultrasound lady and then followed up. What they found was why I felt so awful.!!

Normally, women's ovaries are 4cm, mine were 11cm and 10cm each. (touching each other). I had water and blood everywhere in my body. My doc immediately put in a transfer to the bigger hospital Brigham and Women's. She was admitting me for an undisclosed length of time. Scared and in the most dire pain I've felt (even with a small amount of pain meds), Cyndi was instructed to rush us to the hospital. The ambulance was supposed to take me (that's how bad it was) however, the ambulances were backed up for an hour and I couldn't bear the wait.

BRIGHAM AND WOMEN'S THURSDAY noonish - I got into the crazy busy hospital and was first told there was no beds available at first. Needless to say, it wasn't comfortable to hear. After waiting around for 2hrs. sitting up in a wheelchair, they found me a bed and room, private thank god. After two more hours, they finally got an IV in me. THat night was painful, scary, sad, etc. At least Brian got to stay the night.

FRIDAY- all night long, vital nurses kept coming in to check the vitals, I got blood drawn and I spent one more night up all night with no sleep. Goig on 76hrs with no sleep and having this situation did not help matter. My doc and the fellow Mary who did my transfer immediately sent me to ultrasound again. The ovaries were the same size still, big and irritating, where they felt like they were literally going to explode inside me. I still had major water adema going on all over. Right then and there in the ultrasound room, my doc decided to do an emergency "perecyntisis" (sp?) on me. It's where they find a spot on your belly where there is an unusual pocket of liquid under teh skin (led by the ultrasound) and they poke in a huge needle and then a plastic hose like cathetar. The pain I endured during this time was probably the worst I've ever felt. I honestly thought I could pass away right then and there. I was barely with them. Non-responsive, white-grey in color they said. The cathetar is placed and then it's other end put in a glass jar that looks like a big home brew beer container. The liquid in my belly fills up the jars. The norm, for a bad case of OHSS to fill up is 2-3 max. I filled up 7 bottles. My doctors were very amazed and scared. They told my father in law, that I'm by far the worst OHSS case they have ever seen (and being in Boston and the big city, they see quite a lot (1 in 2000 patients even get it to begin with)). So my "interesting case" just got more interesting to them. It is very scary to be the worst case they've seen. To be severely hyperstimulated in the worst experience I've had in my life. It's so sad too because it's coupled with something you want so badly in life, and we just have to hope for the best. The double edge sword here is: I could just keep getting better, whcih means the pregnancy didn't take (which makes having this all this much harder and heartbreaking), or I could get worse sometime this weekend, beginning of next week, which means most likely we are..but I would endure another 2 weeks of this hell. *and I'm not allowed to fly or come home until this is finished. Talking about a life changing ordeal!

Because of this, I had about 6 other docs always checking in on me. It was quite embarassing too, they are all young and hot..it definitely was the cast of Grey's Anatomy looking at my swollen vagina (which is by far one of the worst pains ever) and my fat bloated painful stomach. That afternoon they made everyone leave my room and gave me stuff to sleep and finally let me sleep for aboiut four hours since I hadn't slept at all for 3 days.

The next day more tests. More pain. More of the same thing. More weight gain..it's all water weight but let me tell you it's the most disheartening thing to see youself gain weight that fast and know you aren't living in your body. I still couldn't get comfortable. Even with a special mattress the doc got me and the drugs, getting comfortable was next to impossible.

Sunday came and I gained more weight. They decided to do another perecyntisis. I was looking forward to the relief of pressure immediately following the procedure but nothing else. They did it again. This one hurt worse, and I just sat crying on the table while they poked around my belly and only came up with 1.5 bottles of liquid this time. A lot of the liquid was in my lungs and near them and there was talk about doing a lung tap, but I begged for that not to happen. (too dangerous)

So there we were 5 damn days in the hospital. A different nurse every shift, a different vitals gal every shift, somebody new always to get my blood 4 times a day (I've got a bruised body you wouldn't believe) and always a new face of a doc looking in to see who the "interesting case" was. Wake ups at 12am, 2am, 4am for various things and then continued all day long.

We were released Tuesday 12noon. Still not up to par they just want me to go home and see if I can continue peeing on my own (that's the goal, to pee all this liquid out of my body). I will be an outpatient basis from here. I go to the hospital again tomorrow, the one I stayed in for 5 days.

I will try and keep you guys more informed. Obviously, the big delay in writing was because I had a hiatus to the hospital. I appreciate all your flowers, gifts, calls, cards, notes and prayers! No more! You are spoiling me! Please just keep praying for us to get the outcome we intended here, a healthy happy pregnancy and healthy happy child! Sorry I haven't been much for the phone either. It winds me after talking for a few minutes...but I hope all of you are well.

Love, Linds