Monday, March 5, 2007

Back from the dead!

Hello Everyone, I know it's been a long long time since I talked to most of you. Some of you know and some of you don't know but since my last blog, I was in the hospital 2 more times. I was in the hospital a total of 23 days over the period of the end of January and the month of February. I had 5 stomach taps, most every stomach tap produced 5 liters of fluid. Just think about how much that is. I was admitted a second time only three days after I last wrote. I was feeling okay and then things got much worse. I could not stop puking and was rushed to the ER on a Friday night in Boston. Not the most desireable location, and after that ordeal, we could see where the show ER got a lot of its material. It was unreal. Feeling as bad as I did, we still proceeded to see drunks handcuffed to beds, a lady who needed to be handcuffed to her bed with police officers surrounding her, other beds with patients in them, languishing in the halls because there were no places to put them. It wasn't fun. My in-laws, Brian and I tried to stay awake although it was the middle of the night and hope that they could do something for me.

After many more tests, and seven hours later, at 4am, they finally admitted me back onto the private floor I was on before. This hospital trip was my worst. I was in the hospital for 14 days straight. That's enough to drive anyone nuts. I was continually poked and proded and still no end or comfort in sight. To top it off, the doctors couldn't tell if I was pregnant or not because I had so much liquid in me, and the hormones were giving negative and positive readings. That aside, since we weren't even thinking about that any longer, my pain was excrutiating. I have never been more terrified and sad in my whole life.

Brian spent many days and nights with me by my side. After a week, I told him he had to get back to the real world and his new job at the bank. My mom came in to relieve Brian and see for herself how bad I was. We spent many days watching bad TV, sometimes playing Yahtzee if I had the energy and wasn't in too much pain, and just being bored, trying to read to entertain ourselves.

I got out on Valentine's Day, which indeed was a little present. Still sad, Brian was gone back home, and still not feeling great, I started to get better, slowly and surely. But again, after only four days of being home, I got sick again. Again, throwing up profusely, with the rhea accompanying, John (father in law) called the doc and he said to admit me again. I was over it.

Mom got her stuff together, and John and Cyndi drove us back to the hospital that Sunday, February 19th. I was diagnosed with the end of my OHSS, and a viral infection of some sort. So another four days in the hospital and finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I had one last doctor's appt. to get cleared to fly, and got home late last Tuesday.

It has been very hard transitioning back into normal life, since I don't know what normal would be after the last few months. Thank goodness I love my job so much. It has put a smile back on my face, as I hit my first half day today. I'll do half days this week and then start back fully next week. I am still not even close to being back to normal. My ovaries are still at 10.3 cm. each, I still have some remaining liquid in my body and I am still very weak. The doctors claim I will not see the light of day for feeling better until mid-April. I guess I have got something to look forward to..but other than that it's a long long road to recovery. In a few weeks, I will have an update for you all whether we are pregnant or not. Still waiting for the liquid to leave the body and the hormones to come down.

Thanks again for all your well wishes. I love you all.

Love, Linds

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Sorry for the delay...but this is what has happened..

Hello everyone, I know I've been getting calls, emails and texts as the excitement of the big day had arrived and a lot has happened in between.

1. Retrieval - Sunday 20th - showed up early in the morning. Quite nervous as one would expect. The retrieval went WELL..probably too well, as they retrieved 33 eggs from my ovaries. THe normal on the high side is about 20. Everyone was very excited, as once again, I was "an interesting" case to have gotten so many. We went home, with a little anthesia in me,..I felt great, but started throwing up violently during the Pats game (probably because I knew where it was headed). The next day was a different story. I was in major pain. My stomach blew up to about 4 times its normal size and my female parts were in agony. We called my nurse and she said to not worry that it's not OVARIAN HYPERSTIMULATION SYNDROME OHSS just yet, that it's swollen because of the amount of eggs they got. I was instructed to drink as much gatorade as I could and eat protein. Still no relief. I found myself on the couch for the next few days in tremendous pain. and uncomfortable even in my skin. There was nothing making me happy or comforted. Even though my nurse said I didn't have it..I knew what I had felt different than swelling from a surgery.

2, Acupuncture - Tuesday-w/ Dr Chao. I could barely fit into any of my clothes. So I actually went out into the public with half zipped pants. It was embarassing but my pain superceeded that. I was immediately brought into Dr. Chao's office, which brought the first smile to my face in a while, as her office smelled like wacky tabacky. Obviously we were not in the hospital anymore, and definitely in the realm of "alternative medicine". The doc said I had to be, "MOderately Hyperstimulated" at this point. (OHSS causes severe abdominal adema (lots of liquid under skin), major uncomfortableness, anxiety because of all of it, pain, weight gain, loss of breath, and major nausea). Yes, I had all the above. She did her voodoo on my stomach, which when I got home, I could not know if it helped or hurt my causes, as I started throwing up and had major rhea. Maybe she shuld have just given me a toke or two off her wacky tabacky and called it good.

3 Transfer - Wed. am, my transfer got pushed up to first thing in the morning. We got a call that 20 of the 33 eggs fertizlied which is still amazing and of course you can insert Brian's jokes here (''well now we have enough kids for two hockey teams"..etc.) That morning I felt nausea still, still had rhea and could not for the life of me get comfortable. I had a fever which is very bad when doing the transfer or first pregnant (as any alterations in body temp can be detrimental to the fetus/embryo). They gave me tylenol to help. At this pt. I was crying. I didn't know if I wanted to go through it because how horrible I felt, (I also didn't sleep the entire eve. before), and at the pt I was feeling most doctors will not perform a transfer on someone with all my symptoms that day.

The doctor, not mine, was very late and didn't have the best bed side manner, insisted finally and admitted, that I had between MODERATE and SEVERE OVARIAN HYPERSTIMULATION. As he proceeded to tell me...I'll still do the transfer but you are going to get way worse. In those exact comforting words. On top of that, he insisted he would only put one embryo in us instead of two. He said with my age, etcetc, twins would be too likely and I'd be too high risk at this pt already overreacting to the drugs. I cried, Brian and I gave in to one. I was comforted by a nice OR nurse named CAROL, we thought that was a good sign, and went in f0r the transfer. They give you nothingl..no drugs at all..and you lie on a table with your legs/knees pushed back to your chest. It's very awful..but Brian was allowed to scrub up (looking very handsome in his scrubs) and come in and hold my hand. During this process Carol comforted me and so did Brian. We had a "Fellow" a doc doing their fellowship, named Mary actually doing the transfer and we had gotten to know her well. At the end of the 20min they give you your "first picture" of your intended embryo/baby. It was neat..we all cried. and we were released home.

Before going home, we stopped off one more time for some good JUJU /or some free pot smells from the Dr. Chao for acupuncture, as they say, having the acupuncture session, immediately following your transfer on that same day, improves your success rate by 60%. We hope that's the case...as I sat miserable in her doctors office awaiting my appt. Many other patients including nuns came up to Brian and Cyndi and prayed for me as thye could see I was absolutley doing awfully. I was sent home to eat sweet potatoes and pineapple - two magical foods the acupuncturist believes will help.

That night went home. I started dry heaving and puking around 10pm that night. This is not supposed to happen. I was full of anxiety, and didn't want to wake up John, Cyndi or Brian, so I spent the entire night on the downstairs couch, trying not to think of the pain, the nausea that was every 30min, rhea every 45min. and keeping myself calm and laying down since it was after the transfer and those are the rules. I watched about 4movies until 6am when John and Cyndi found me on the couch. I was miserable, crying, dehydrated, sick, in pain, stomach disstended farther than I've ever seen it.

John made the call to bring me in to his hospital (where I got all my tests done up to this pt) for an IV of liquids and hopefully get me on the right track. It was my absolute bottom as they wheelchaired me through the hospital to get me to the recovery rooms of the OR (John secretly stashed us there instead of the ER, here it would have taken too long). Every doc and nurse said I looked worse than awful. John immediately found my doctor Dr Ashby,uostairs who just did a surgery. She sent down an ultrasound lady and then followed up. What they found was why I felt so awful.!!

Normally, women's ovaries are 4cm, mine were 11cm and 10cm each. (touching each other). I had water and blood everywhere in my body. My doc immediately put in a transfer to the bigger hospital Brigham and Women's. She was admitting me for an undisclosed length of time. Scared and in the most dire pain I've felt (even with a small amount of pain meds), Cyndi was instructed to rush us to the hospital. The ambulance was supposed to take me (that's how bad it was) however, the ambulances were backed up for an hour and I couldn't bear the wait.

BRIGHAM AND WOMEN'S THURSDAY noonish - I got into the crazy busy hospital and was first told there was no beds available at first. Needless to say, it wasn't comfortable to hear. After waiting around for 2hrs. sitting up in a wheelchair, they found me a bed and room, private thank god. After two more hours, they finally got an IV in me. THat night was painful, scary, sad, etc. At least Brian got to stay the night.

FRIDAY- all night long, vital nurses kept coming in to check the vitals, I got blood drawn and I spent one more night up all night with no sleep. Goig on 76hrs with no sleep and having this situation did not help matter. My doc and the fellow Mary who did my transfer immediately sent me to ultrasound again. The ovaries were the same size still, big and irritating, where they felt like they were literally going to explode inside me. I still had major water adema going on all over. Right then and there in the ultrasound room, my doc decided to do an emergency "perecyntisis" (sp?) on me. It's where they find a spot on your belly where there is an unusual pocket of liquid under teh skin (led by the ultrasound) and they poke in a huge needle and then a plastic hose like cathetar. The pain I endured during this time was probably the worst I've ever felt. I honestly thought I could pass away right then and there. I was barely with them. Non-responsive, white-grey in color they said. The cathetar is placed and then it's other end put in a glass jar that looks like a big home brew beer container. The liquid in my belly fills up the jars. The norm, for a bad case of OHSS to fill up is 2-3 max. I filled up 7 bottles. My doctors were very amazed and scared. They told my father in law, that I'm by far the worst OHSS case they have ever seen (and being in Boston and the big city, they see quite a lot (1 in 2000 patients even get it to begin with)). So my "interesting case" just got more interesting to them. It is very scary to be the worst case they've seen. To be severely hyperstimulated in the worst experience I've had in my life. It's so sad too because it's coupled with something you want so badly in life, and we just have to hope for the best. The double edge sword here is: I could just keep getting better, whcih means the pregnancy didn't take (which makes having this all this much harder and heartbreaking), or I could get worse sometime this weekend, beginning of next week, which means most likely we are..but I would endure another 2 weeks of this hell. *and I'm not allowed to fly or come home until this is finished. Talking about a life changing ordeal!

Because of this, I had about 6 other docs always checking in on me. It was quite embarassing too, they are all young and hot..it definitely was the cast of Grey's Anatomy looking at my swollen vagina (which is by far one of the worst pains ever) and my fat bloated painful stomach. That afternoon they made everyone leave my room and gave me stuff to sleep and finally let me sleep for aboiut four hours since I hadn't slept at all for 3 days.

The next day more tests. More pain. More of the same thing. More weight gain..it's all water weight but let me tell you it's the most disheartening thing to see youself gain weight that fast and know you aren't living in your body. I still couldn't get comfortable. Even with a special mattress the doc got me and the drugs, getting comfortable was next to impossible.

Sunday came and I gained more weight. They decided to do another perecyntisis. I was looking forward to the relief of pressure immediately following the procedure but nothing else. They did it again. This one hurt worse, and I just sat crying on the table while they poked around my belly and only came up with 1.5 bottles of liquid this time. A lot of the liquid was in my lungs and near them and there was talk about doing a lung tap, but I begged for that not to happen. (too dangerous)

So there we were 5 damn days in the hospital. A different nurse every shift, a different vitals gal every shift, somebody new always to get my blood 4 times a day (I've got a bruised body you wouldn't believe) and always a new face of a doc looking in to see who the "interesting case" was. Wake ups at 12am, 2am, 4am for various things and then continued all day long.

We were released Tuesday 12noon. Still not up to par they just want me to go home and see if I can continue peeing on my own (that's the goal, to pee all this liquid out of my body). I will be an outpatient basis from here. I go to the hospital again tomorrow, the one I stayed in for 5 days.

I will try and keep you guys more informed. Obviously, the big delay in writing was because I had a hiatus to the hospital. I appreciate all your flowers, gifts, calls, cards, notes and prayers! No more! You are spoiling me! Please just keep praying for us to get the outcome we intended here, a healthy happy pregnancy and healthy happy child! Sorry I haven't been much for the phone either. It winds me after talking for a few minutes...but I hope all of you are well.

Love, Linds

Friday, January 19, 2007

The big day has finally come, at least the first one!

Hey guys, pretty crazy stuff today. Went in, prepared to ask a million questions since yesterday and the day before I didn't get all the answers I was looking for. It started out rather frustrating because the office was backed up about 30min. This is actually not that long in most doctors offices however, we got spoiled because this hospital/clinic, is not only always on time, but usually running 10-15min early! It's great. So today was unnerving, I had a bad blood drawer, not my favorite lady, who saw me in the waiting room and was so excited to take my blood and I had to inform her I already got it drawn. Then I had an ultra sound gal who's very sweet and nice, but the regular lady I love wasn't around either. With all that said, I asked how many follicles, and what size immediately.

So I have 24 follicles. It's kind of a lot..and they are worried..we don't want to get them all to 18-20 because then I'd have really big problems. So my biggest follicles, which there were 3, were 18 and 19. When I left, I had a feeling I'd have to stop taking all other meds, because I feel and knew with the follicle count, I'm about to border line hyperstimulation.

So I made myself very busy today with Brian..awaiting the call that comes between 2-6pm but usually comes more like 1:15pm. This call today didn't come until 3:30pm and it was killing me to know. The office called, Cyndi (mother-in-law) here at home and told her the whole scoop..which was quite a lot. Cyndi was nervous she wouldn't get it all down..but did a great job.

I GO IN ON SUNDAY! This is where they retrieve my eggs out of the follicles that are big enough (in a light surgery) in Boston at Brigham and WOmen's hospital. I also have to take a big ass shot (you really should see the needle on this thing) in my ass tonight at precisely the time given, 10:30pm!! This is a shot that has to be given within 15min of this time, or else you ruin everything. Quite scary and a lot of pressure, especially when staring at this needle. Got Dr. John (father-in-law) to mix up my meds in the needle to be ready to have Bri administer the shot precisely at 10:30pm, as it's to be given 36hrs before my surgery which is at 10:30am on Sunday! My blood level/estradol is up to 3276! That's sort of getting to the scary numbers..4000 is ultra high for me, a patient with PCOS, and definitely in the hyperstimulation area..where we don't want to be. I also am supposed to be drinking tons of fluids (which I am and feel like I am a swimming pool) and not just water! as you need to be extra hydrated with electrolytes too. I am also to keep up my protein intake..suggested foods, eggs and fish..both things I hate. So I got the okay for beef, chicken and turkey! Much more doable! Just finished a lovely hamburger to get me started.

All is well!

So next time I log on to update you all, will be Monday..after the surgery! After the Pats game (go pats)! Hope you are all well! And again..sincerely, thank you for all your thoughts and love! We love you guys and miss you all!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Same thing again and A new Doc too

So today was another appointment. Things went well however, I had a new ultrasound lady. She was very nice and fine, however, when you are going through this, the more routine things are, I have found the less stressed one gets. At this clinic in the hospital, you can usually end up with your same blood taker, and your same ultra sound lady. I was super sad today when my favorite ultrasound lady got the patient before me, so I knew I'd have someone else. This lady did not tell me my follicle count or levels. I patiently waited until the ultrasound was over, just because I know sometimes if you jump the gun and ask them your levels, they get nervous and would rather just tell you at the end, after they have put info. in their big computers that are attached to the ultrasound machine. Well, my lady just up and left after she was done. I had no way of getting her and asking her my levels. So after our appt. I was crazed..thinking maybe she didn't tell me because something bad was happening. That's no fun!

So about 15min ago. they called me with the word. My estradol is 2080 (remember optimum level for me would be 2000-2500, with follicles at 20 size, actually 2.0cm but they call that 20). The nurse said I'm doing great..but they need my follicles to get bigger. This nurse forgot, and I forgot to ask, with all the other info coming in, about how big my biggest follicles were. So now, I'm shy of some valuable info. once again. However, she said I was doing very well ...so I got that going for me which is nice. They are decreasing my medication to 75iu of follistim. A very very low dose. I think this is to prevent my follicles to get bigger, a few of them, and my estradol to creep up slowly, instead of going overboard and getting me to hyperstimulation stage.

The nurse who takes my blood, is the same most days. We've become friends. She's very cool. When I went in there my second time (first being in Oct. when we were here) she remembered me and said, "Aren't you from somewhere like, IDA-HOOO?". She's very funny. She kept complementing Bri and I on how cute we were and supportive of each other, and how cute Brian was, and when we came out to the waiting room, wherein I would agree with the nurse, we found Brian sound asleep, mouth gaping open. Yes, really cute Bri! Hee hee!

Today I feel less bloating, but I have severe moments of pain in my abdomen and ovaries. It sucks. It's a sharp pain and it doesn't last too long but it is very often. Oh well. Like I said, keeping busy, watching movies and reading books, sort of keeps my mind of taking two shots in the belly everyday and the pain.

So I've read and been told by many friends and doctors, that acupuncture greatly helps in the IVF process. The success rate is much higher and no one knows why..but it's highly regarded even as a destressing tool. So I found two highly rated acupuncturists here, Dr. Chao and Dr. How (no joke) and one of them will be administering my last few sessions of acupuncture. I love it! It's very soothing and for anyone with any kinds of problems; ie. migraines, arthitis, etc. I would highly recommend it to you if you tried other things that don't seem to work. Anyways, the weird part of the acupuncture right now, is that it's highly believed to be very beneficial if you do your session on the day of the transfer. Now the timing is kind of crazy, because I think I've said, the retrieval and transfer are something unknown to us until we get a crazy call, even in the middle of the night, that says when our appts are. So I will have to try my hardest to get into Dr. Chao at the appropriately timed appt. in relation to my transfer. I am already getting in to a session between the retrieval and transfer..so I feel good they will fit me in before and after my transfer. Quite literally, these acupuncture Chinese Mr Miagi type gurus, have you come to their office on the way to the hospital and quite literally, on your way home from. Very very interesting!

Well that's it on our end. Another appt. tomorrow morning. We're on an everyday schedule now. Hopefully some more good news tomorrow!

Thanks again for all your support and love!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Another appointment!

Hello there, today was our fourth apt. and it went well. I have 21 follicles all together (14 on right ovary, and 7 on left). My 4 biggest are size 15, which we are trying to get them to 20. I go back in tomorrow for another scan and blood and probably on Friday too, as we are getting very close to my trigger shot ( a shot you have to give yourself within 15min of a totally specific time (could be in the middle of the night) that has to be 36hrs prior to your first surgery, the retrieval). They have guessed I could be taking the trigger shot this Friday or Saturday, which would put us in Brigham and Women's in Boston for the retrieval on Sunday (go pats!) or Monday. Exciting now that the real stuff is upon us!

I'm still very bloated...that's so fun. But I've been keeping busy, getting some nice exercise walking around their neighborhood, and going to the movies. Pursuit of Happyness, great movie, great message!

Another question that was brought up was; will we know if we are pregnant when we leave? The answer is a big fat NO. We cannot take a pregnancy test until about 15-18 days after the transfer to be on the safe side. The meds I've been taking, act like the pregnancy hormones and could register a false positive. We definitely don't need that. So we'll wait our allotted days and take one with hope in our hearts and a little Irish luck too on our side!!!

We feel very lucky to have all you friends and family! Your thoughts, prayers, meditations, have all been very appreciated and well received. We are staying upbeat like I said, because half the battle is a positive attitude and outlook on life!! We love each and every one of you and appreciate everything!!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Some more questions

Again a few people have asked some great questions, and I forget being around all these doctors, that I might get a little too technical with some stuff, and other things I just plain don't know either..so I'll try my best to explain.

1. The question of stem cell research came up - I was asked if we are allowed to donate our embryos we don't use or freeze (side note: freezing would be to save eggs for a possible other chance at IVF - this depends on how many eggs, and what quality they are - if Brian and I had to do this route again or wanted to - it would only be a week trip here because I wouldn't have to take all the hormones to make my eggs, because we already have them frozen little popsicles!) ?? Brian and I are all for it! Whatever they can figure out to help cure diseases and figure out our genetics and why things happen to babies, we are all for. I know this is a very controversial subject for some (aka the President, sorry to the KG's) but Brian and I think it's very cool to help in any way we can. Most likely too, they only take the embryos that weren't formed enough to make a baby, and study the reasons why not.
2. The question of my levels came up from two people and it's a very good question - My reading level 345 is my estradol level (now I'm not too medically savvy but I do know it has to do with your hormonal level, specifically, the follicles on your ovaries (they produce the eggs)) Each ovary needs to have around 6-10 good size follicles on it (meaning they need to measure 18-20, each follicle). Now each follicle, puts out a hormonal level of 100-200, when they keep growing. Therefore, ideally you could do the math and get 10 great follicles, at 200 estradol level each, and make your readings get up to 2000. Now because I'm a special case with the PCOS and the endo, they will be watching me closely and probably not even let me get that high depending on how many days I've been on the shots, how my follicles (the good ones look) and if they think I'm ready. A regular IVF, like I said, is a 7-12 day shot taker and usually in there somewhere get to go do their retrieval. Since I'm on the slow boat, mine is going to take longer, and I could be taking shots for up to or over 16 days. Now, that's a really long time, and could possibly push us back a bit more on coming home. I cannot stress about that, because it's not good for me...so as we keep saying around here..let's just take one day at a time!

Thanks for your great questions. I hope I haven't confused you guys more.

Love, Linds

Monday, January 15, 2007

Saturday's appt and Monday (MLK day)

Saturday was super efficient fast and easy..as most things with this clinic. I just ran in and had my blood drawn in about five minutes. That afternoon, I got a call, that said I could up my medication of follistim (the shot that goes in the belly) to 225iu, originally on 150iu.

Things went wll upping the dose. The only thing is the side effects have intensified! I find myself extremely tired, bloated, and I have frequent headaches nightly. They are all common side effects of the follistim and I am thankfully aware of that. I can see why people get very sad or mad or grumpy on these meds as all the above side effects are not fun to have, especially when you have all of them at the same time.

Brian's been here, got in late Friday night. He's having a hard time watching me stab myself two times a day in the belly (where I now have a lot of tiny bruises). Today, Monday,, was his first visit to the doctors, or at least it was supposed to be. After the Patriots huge win in the playoff games last night, Brian got up in the middle of the night with food poisoning (or what I think is the fanatical fan overdosing on hors d'ovres). He got very sick and needless to say did not accompany me to the docs today. I did't worry..usually the whole waiting room is all women, however, today, everyone brought in their husbands. Oh well. We will hopefully make it to the office together on Wednesday.

Overall, things are going along fine. They called today and my estradol level (estrogen hormonal levels need to be 2000-2500 for egg retrieval) were only at 345. I guess that was what was to be expected since I'm on a lower dose. I am rather bloated and have an achey belly and back. Oh well. I'm in it for the long haul.

We've got another apt. on Wednesday morning..so we'll know by Wednesday afternoon, how we have fared. Thanks for all your support and notes. We appreciate it!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Just to clarify

So I've had a few people ask me some questions and I'm very sorry if I haven't been more clear. But just to clear up. 1. The question of multiples keeps coming up? The deal with that is the since MA state covers everything for their people, the doctors have become less and less inclined to implant anymore embryos than one! With special circumstances, like us, visitors from another state that have to pay out of pocket, they will listen to your reasons why you think they should implant more (and look at the quality of your embryos) and go from there. My doctor is very big on not implanting more than two. So two is the max Brian and I could have implanted,,and we're hoping we get that, ie, with doctor's consent on board, and with good quality embryos. It just seems like you get a better chance of at least one taking. But the most taking and being successful, would be twins. There has been major studies done recently, that the more embryos implanted, doesn't mean success (as the theory is that the embyros are all fighting for implantation space). Most clinics these days will not implant more than four. Most clinics also don't want you have multiples, even twins scare them. The reasoning behind this, is that most multiple births are high risk (ie. bedrest, early births, prematurity which can leads to problems later in life, etc), so they do everything in their powers to make sure that doesn't happen. 2. MA covers everything - The state of MA is one of five states that covers all IVF. In fact, IVF is a $20 mere co-pay no joke! Idaho is not one of those states, and since Brian and I are Idaho-ans we have to pay out of pocket. You give them your credit card pre-IVF and they charge it up for both the surgeries and the daily visits. If they need anything else while you go through it, they charge it right up. The only upside - Brian and I better be getting some first class miles out of this for some place special!!! 3. Retrieval and Implantation - These two dates are two separate surgeries that I will undergo with light sedation. The retrieval day is the day Brian has to give his deposit as well. This day is not scheduled and will most likely be unknown to all of us, including the doctor, until a day or two before. It's all how my body will be reacting to the meds, and the most optimum time they can stick a needle up the uterus (while I'm out..thank god) and puncture the follicles around the ovary, to hopefully get great quality eggs and a good amount of them too. That's when they mix it with Brian's deposit and let them co-mingle for three days in a petri dish or test tube (aka test tube babies, back in the 70's and 80's), and then the implantation is timed out precisely in 3 days from the retrieval, at a time, the embyrologist says is good (as they are the ones that keep an eye on the co-mingling). So there are a few questions. If you have any more...please ask. Blood test tomorrow and then we'll find out a little better schedule for check ups next week.
So here we are on day #5 of this IVF scenario. I haven't caught you ladies up in a few days because I haven't had an appointment. Interestingly enough, I'm on a different protocol than most IVF patients because of my PCOS mainly. I am on a lower dosage of Follistim 150iu (the major stimulating drug) than most people. I will go in for my next appt. tomorrow for blood work and then next week we'll be in every other day for closer monitoring.

I of course, freaked myself out by reading "Fertility for dummies" book..which up until now..has been a great source of information. The book declared that I was on one of the highest dosages of Follistim 175iu highest you can be on, and that especially PCOS patients should be monitored more closely. Well, of course that didn't set well with me and I read it before bed (just some light reading) so that night I slept terribly. I of course got right on the email and emailed both my doc and my nurse seperately, and I also emailed one of my very best friends, Jessica (sorry Jess if you wanted anonynmity (sp?)) who is funnily enough, going through this same process and is just about a week or two behind me (which is very helpful to bounce info off one another). The doc and nurse both immediately called me, and assured me, I was on the right track and that I should reread my protocol over and over (a vast amount of paperwork they gave me back in October!!!). Needless to say, I felt kind of dumb, but at the very least, I guess I was keeping the docs on their toes.

I also had a good reason to call as my meds were going to be out tomorrow night (sat.?). I brought this up with my doctor and nurse and they said no problem. My father-in-law was already at work, and was allowed to pick up my medications. Once again, like a drug dealer, in a brown paper bag..no joke..that had hand scribbled Dr. Sutton, and he brought it home. IT WAS FREE! I am so lucky to have an understanding clinic, and a state that covers all IVF costs (therefore there is usually always extra free meds around). I know how lucky we are to be even saving a couple thousand dollars on medications. It's truly amazing.

During this week, I found myself just trying to keep busy. Taking lots of walks (even though it's cold out) and keeping busy helps. (Went and saw, "Freedom Writers", great movie, sidenote: McDreamy is in it and not so McDreamy..but don't hold that against him!). Right now, I'm just very sore, crampish and muscle ache. I assume this is a side effect of the Follistim? as I do not normally feel this way. But it's nothing a little heating pad action isn't clearing up. Tomorrow another blood test..and then I find out if I come back in on Sunday or Monday for another lovely vag-nay-nay Ultra sound and blood work again...then I've been told it's every other day up to retrieval. Also this morning, a very nice anathesiologist from Brigham and Women's the hospital where I will have the surgeries/procedures, called to have a phone consult to be ready for next weekend or the beginning of the following week. It went well and anticipate all will be fine in that department.

I hope this finds you all well. For all my Idaho girls, stay warm. I hear it's brutal there today!!

Love, Linds




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Here goes nothing... **Disclaimer ladies: what you are about to read will probably teach you more or confuse you more about our own anatomy. Please feel free to stop reading from this part if you do not wish to confuse yourselves or if you gross out easily! Here is a little diary, in the life of an IVF patient!So, here it is January 8th, the very first IVF appointment. I didn't sleep well last night, as was expected, because one has no idea what to expect when you go to your first unknown appointment, for an unknown procedure or two, for an unknown and unwanted look at your vag-nay-nay! Obviously, this appointment is the first appointment in Boston at the highly regarded Brigham Women's hospital/ together with Newton Wellsley Hospital (where John Sutton, my father in law is an anthesiologist) however, I've been "prepping" the body for this for a while. Recently, being diagnosed with PCOS (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) added insult to injury to my other long term diagnosis of endometreosis. Both of these things cause little to severe infertility in a large amount of women (the stats are truly amazing, or scary, whichever way you look at it). After many unsuccessful attempts over the entire year of 2006; the natural fun way, adding Clomid (ovulation drug), adding hormone stimulants (big giant long shots) and various other things, we realized with the doctors help, that IVf might be the best thing for us. So we added metformin to my daily routine (a horrible but helpful drug, that makes me constantly nauseaus and/or have major rhea problems) that is an actual diabetes drug but helps with the PCOS (no one truly knows why either..interesting). So today was the day we'd been waiting for. The first appointment in the MIGS dept (minimally invasive gynological surgical unit..just in case you were wondering). I walked in, with my mother-in-law (which was very nice having her with me, although I know some of you might not be able to picture that with your own mother-in-laws..hee hee), and they had us sign in. Many other women, were also waiting in the waiting room already, and it was only 7:10am! Most of the women, I noticed were dressed for work, so hopefully that meant we'd get in and get out. Most of the other women, were also significantly older than myself, so I feel lucky to be starting this procedure at an early age, with the help and encouragement of my doctors. I was immediately called in for an ultra sound, the vag-nay-nay kind, which aren't so fun. However, the tech was very thorough, fast and efficient..so that was over with right away. I came back out, sat with Cyndi for about 2min, and was greeted by my nurse who recognized me right away (good sign) and I only met her once about 3mos ago. Then I was called back into the back again, to have a "mock transfer" done with my doctor (who is a super cool lady and makes you feel very calm). The "mock transfer" was no fun, as they stuck a cathetar up me to see how far my uterus went up! Oh yeah, the pain was reminiscent of my HSG (another horrible test I had on my birthday of this year ironically, to find out how my endometreosis was doing). It was a lot of cramping but it was a very fast procedure. The lucky thing I found out while doing this was that on the day of the transfer, when all ladies are supposed to have full bladders for the entire transfer (ouch!), I don't have to have a full bladder because my uterus is tipped towards the pelvic bone (down) and if it was a full bladder, the uterus would be tipped too far back. Good news! After that little lovely test, I met with the doctor..who like a drug dealer, pushed me over some meds. I kept asking about them and she was very evasive about it. She was giving me the drugs for FREE!( A word, you seldom hear with IVF!) So in all, this doctor has saved us at least $1500 in free meds. We do love her!! I finished up with a meeting with my nurse and everything is pretty much set in motion. Every day I go in for an appt. I'm out by 9am at the latest ( I believe this is to get working ladies who live here, back to work). They call each eve. between 2-6pm to give me directions on what drugs I take, how much and when my next appt is. It's all very fascinating. The only appt. that will be at odd times, will be the actual surgeries to retrieve the eggs, and the transfer to implant the embyros (they happen 3 days apart towards the end of this journey here) and they have in Boston at a major hospital, Brigham Women's.So that's it for Monday! We shall see what's next....

by Lindsey Sutton
10:21:00 AM
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Here goes nothing...

by Lindsey Sutton
10:21:00 AM
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